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Others have been worse others have been bigger. Similarly, no other performer or group has ever had so many horrible songs become so successful on the charts as has Billy Joel. No other team has even remotely come close to topping their total number of world championships.
TORTURE PEOPLE USIGN UPTOWN GIRL BILLY JOEL SERIES
But while there are those who can honestly contend that the ’27 Bronx Bombers were not the greatest of all World Series teams, no one – not even those who hate the Yankees with a soul-scorching fire, as do all right-thinking humans – can argue that they are not the best baseball franchise ever. To cite a more recent example, “My Humps” offends the soul and mind in ways to which only the most cretinous songs by the Man from Hicksville can aspire. “Yummy Yummy Yummy”, to cite an older example, is certainly the product of a nightmarish hatred of all humanity, and arguably worse than any Billy Joel song. Primary among these is this question: “Is William Martin Joel the worst popular musician in all of recorded history, or is he not?” The answer – a yes so resounding that you pray it will deafen you rather than leave the slightest chance you will have to hear “Uptown Girl” one more time – seems as obvious as gravitation, and yet there are those who contest its truth even as I commit it now to eternal, unchanged electrons.ĪRGUMENT #1: THE BASEBALL ANALOGY. Just as one can argue that there were better World Series teams than the 1927 New York Yankees, one can argue that various performers have written worse songs than those produced from the depressingly fertile mind of Billy Joel. In our world today, when we can literally transmit information at the speed of light, when we are as far removed from our primitive ancestors as the Earth is from Sirius, we are still debating the right and wrong, the false and true, of topics that should have been laid to rest when the lingua franca of the human race was savage grunting and frenetic arm-waving.
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There are issues which, though they should by any reasonable estimation have been settled long ago, are still being debated nearly into the second decade of the 21st century.